Results day

Tuesday 20 August

Diagnosis

We knew immediately that the news wasn’t going to be great when BF and I were shown through to the “Garden Room” at the Nightingale Centre when we went for the results of the biopsy. The room was the sort of place relatives would be taken to when there was bad news to be broken “I’m sorry Mrs Jones but little Johnny didn’t make it through the operation”… That sort of thing. A sofa, armchairs, various other chairs all round a coffee table – in pride of place on the table was a box of tissues. Ah yes, I see they were expecting tears… We braced ourselves. Continue reading

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Bruised and battered

Friday 16 August 2013

Urrgghh… I just looked at my right boob under the dressing (the pressure dressing can come off today). The whole thing looks red and battered and I’m going to have a lovely bruise (I bruise easily) from the biopsy… How nice :(… We’re off to meet up with close friends in the Midlands (staying overnight) tomorrow – hmmm don’t think I’ll be wearing anything too revealing!

Other than that, some discomfort but no pain – certainly no need for painkillers!

And the wait goes on…

Thursday 15 August 2013 – late afternoon

I’m back from the hospital, feeling very brave to have gone and sat there and faced whatever was ahead of me… D-day (or C-day) has been postponed until next Tuesday (the Radiologist felt it could go either way…) when my biopsy results will be ready. I’m feeling bruised, battered, a bit achy… but SOOOO much calmer. For now, the panicky feeling and dread have been majorly reduced. I’m still not out of the woods, but am happy I got through today and I’m back home without a ‘death sentence’ over my head (well not just yet anyway…). Continue reading

Limbo land

Thursday 15 August 2013 – morning

Today is the first day of the rest of my life… At least by tonight I will know what is going on with my body. Scary! And I suspect my life will never be the same again. I hope that it will make me an even stronger person than I usually am? Or will I become a victim? I don’t think the latter is in my make up, and I think that I’ll try to fight whatever is happening. However, at the moment I just feel scared. Continue reading

In denial?

Wednesday 14 August 2013

Tomorrow is D-day (or possibly C-day?) and I still haven’t told anyone about the appointment. Burying my head in the sand, feeling very introspective. I think if I actually say it out loud it becomes reallity, but at the moment it’s all eating away at me inside. Watched Holby City (a British medical drama/soap) on TV last night and one of the nurses has just found a lump on her breast and went for an emergency mammogram – I was in tears by the end (I must admit it often does leave me in tears…) she said what I’m feeling – it is SO scary! I think not knowing is the worst thing. Do I have cancer or don’t I? What type is it? Has it spread? Is it treatable? Will I need chemo? So many questions… Continue reading

Scary result from routine screening…

Monday 12 August 2013

Wow… I went for a routine mammogram screening last Tuesday and received a letter from the hospital on Saturday to say that they want me to go back for further tests…

General Cancer Ribbon Clip Art

In the letter they stress that:

  • One in 20 women are called back
  • Very few women are found to have something that needs further investigation or treatment…
  • According to their website, four out of five of those who are called back are fine and don’t need any further treatment (hold on… that means that 20% do… gulp!!)

At the follow-up examination they may need to do, among other things, a needle biopsy test, an ultrasound or further x-rays.

The initial mammogram was really uncomfortable and it looks like I’m going to be poked and proded some more when I go back on Thursday. Continue reading